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Rampage on the Xbox? Apparently there is a demand...
by Jolex Del Pilar

Saturday, October 11 2003

One of our "fans" has an unusual request, but most of them fall under that category anyway.

Dear Mr. Editor in Chief,

I am an very big X-Box fan, and I was just woundering if it would be posible to get a hold of the old "Rampage" title from Sony's Playstation One? Because if so I think it would be so cool if you did and turned it to an X-Box game. The only request I would have is that you would make it an exact replica, I'm talking infinite lives, 3 and only 3 charactors. The only change I would make is that instead of it only being 2 players it should be 3 players that way all 3 charactors can be on screen and used at the same time. Thank you.

Your fan,
Peter

Thanks for the letter Peter, we're flattered to have fans. You probably don't even realize how bolstered our self-esteem is.

First off though, we cannot take the Rampage game and port it over ourselves. That would be illegal, and as you know gaming website owners never do illegal things.

As for your question, I haven't heard of any news of a Rampage port to the Xbox, or for that matter any console systems. I do have direct contact with Midway and their people, so I guess I'll forward this letter to them to contemplate over.

In the mean time, there are other big monster smashing games out there right now including War of the Monsters (for PS2 however), and of course a game for the king of all monsters, Godzilla (on Xbox).

--- Jolex

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You're all a bunch of liars!!

There [was] no download for Splinter cell in September!

Dustin Oberholz

We only know what we're told. Ubi Soft assured us that there would be new maps available for Splinter Cell in September for Xbox Live users. We haven't heard of any problems on their side. Can any readers report a similar experience to Dustin?

--- Jolex

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...and the winner for most confusing letter of the month goes to...

I love your games, could I have the letters that you use to jump, squat,run lie down I let someone borrow them and they had lost them. I would realy appreciate it alot.

Thank you so much,
Penny

Dear Penny,

That letter was so confusing that it even had me confused, but then again I lick my own nutsack. By the way did you know you can spell poop forwards and backwards? Of course not, you can't even write coherently. Now excuse me while I lick my pink thing which is a whole lot more exciting than hanging out at this poophole. I'll be back again to respond to more of these great letters... for me to poop on!!

--- Triumph

Disclaimer: We cannot guarentee the above was actually written by Triumph. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is a registered property of Late Night, and Robert Smigel.